I was there when you passed away
I remember how I was crying and how I did pray
I felt I didn’t know how I would go on
so I prayed please stay I’ll die if you are gone.

I prayed to you Prabhupada
please you take over my body
for I am useless with out you
and I believe you did Jagat Guru.

Because I don’t know how I’m writing these poems
and keep on writing although thousands were destroyed
I have concluded that you have remained in my heart
and the only reason I’m alive is you never did depart.

But this conclusion is confirmed by scripture
that he never leaves the pure devotee of Krishna
as long as by instructions we try to abide
we can feel our spiritual master always by our side.

You said you never felt seperate from your spiritual master
and you gave all the credit of your accomplishments to him
you said infact Bhaktisidhanta forced you to take sanyass
coming to in your dreams by his mercy all victory you did win.

And so I have been praying to you since 72
please force me to surrender to Krishna and you
I have no qualifications I realize more and more
I must keep praying to you to open up the door.

For I keep closing the door you opened for us
to make spiritual advancement and conquer over lust
and so I must be honest if that is all I can really do
I have yet to keep my promise still all I know is you.

You said even if your like a dog you can make progress
just like the pet dog of Shivananda Sen indeed
because that dog was very dear to Shivananda Sen
Lord Chaitanya delivered that dog to Krishna’s lotus feet.

So I confess I’m like that dog but I’m yours Prabhupad
I’m your beggar birth after birth please drag me back to God
I now know I am not writing without your guiding hand
and only by your causeless mercy I am blessed to understand.

I must just pray to you and that is my perfection
infact praying is in shastra as a path thats authorized
and so I pray to you Prabhupada keep forcing open my eyes
to the fact I’m not this gross disguise and become self realized.

And I pray to you Prabhupada please send me your servants
for thats the highest perfection you said being the servant of your servant
alone we can not stand you said therefor please cooperate together for me
like many sticks together can’t be broken when shall we see?

On this your disappearance day I can’t help but remember
when I prayed to you to take my body so I would surrender
so I believe you really did or I would not be here to preach
that its you Prabhupada all must take shelter of your lotus feet.

And thus your very house that all can fit in will stay alive
with devotees cooperating for you in bliss they will dive
until I see this happening I shall repeat it till we know
to show our love for you we must know your the way to go.

For you said you shall be our initiator for the next ten thousand years
through your very lawbooks Krishna spoke to you so with ecstatic tears
you translated the purport of the Vedas and all the greatest sages
we must surrender to Krishna to know our soul is blissful and ageless.

So death shall not conquer us and there is no material impediment
we must just somehow or other fix our mind on Krishna
by chanting His names always to stop offenses and be transcendent
we can cross over birth and death to fulfill Krishna’s wishes.

That we have full faith in Prabhupada who never will cheat us
and we shall know all victory where no one can defeat us
we must just know Prabhupada is the perfect person to lead us
for he said everything in his books and in Krishnaloka he’ll greet us.

Written by,

Anubhava Ananda dasa