SP explains spiritual anxiety

December 27, 2022 in Articles by Damaghosa dasa

April 26 1976 Melbourne conversations

 
Devotee (1): Is a devotee always in some anxiety to see others unhappy?
Prabhupāda: Yes. How to deliver them? This is Kṛṣṇaanxiety. This kind of anxiety is welcome.
Devotee (1): Yes. Is that also in the spiritual world like this?
Prabhupāda: Yes. In spiritual world there is everything, but only central point is Kṛṣṇa. Here anxiety is “Where I shall get money? Where I shall get woman?” And there is anxiety, “How shall I get Kṛṣṇa?” The anxiety is there. That is the difference.
Devotee (1): But do they have anxiety
Prabhupāda: Here all people are anxious how to get money and how to get woman, that’s all. And there the anxiety is how to get Kṛṣṇa. The anxiety is there, but quality is different.
Devotee (1): If we’re in anxiety that we cannot perform devotional service nicely, that is all right?
Prabhupāda: That is devotional side. Kṛṣṇaanxiety itself is the first-class devotional service. If one becomes anxious like that, then he is perfect. Janmakoṭi-sukṛtair nalabhyate. After many, many millions of life of pious activities one can get such anxiety. This is not so easy, to become anxious for Kṛṣṇa. You don’t think it is like ordinary activity (anxiety?). Koṭisukṛtaiḥ. If one becomes full of anxiety for Kṛṣṇa, that is the highest stage of perfection.
Devotee (1): So the anxiety that I am always falling down…
Prabhupāda: Eh?
Devotee (1): We are in the neophyte stage, and we’re often falling down.
Prabhupāda: You don’t imitate. You follow the rules and regulations. Don’t try artificially to be anxious. When you are purified, then you’ll get that anxiety, not artificially. Then you are sahajiyā.
Devotee (1): I don’t mean to hanker for the anxiety, but to…
Prabhupāda: No, anxiety, that is…. That will come, the perfectional stage. Don’t try to be perfect artificially. Perfect stage, we have to follow strictly the regulative principle, the injunction of the spiritual master, śāstra. Then you come to that stage. Don’t artificially imitate.
Devotee (1): What if one keeps falling down from following the regulative principles?
Prabhupāda: He’s falling down? If he’s falling down from regulative principles, that means he’s falling down to the material world. Falling down means falling down.
Devotee (2): [break] …from the regulative principles and feels anxiety, then that anxiety is material anxiety.
Prabhupāda: Yes.
Devotee (2): It’s not spiritual.
PuṣṭaKṛṣṇa: So anxiety for one’s self is māyā?
Prabhupāda: Hm?
PuṣṭaKṛṣṇa: Anxiety for one’s self is māyā?
Prabhupāda: That is material.
PuṣṭaKṛṣṇa: And anxiety for Kṛṣṇa?

Prabhupāda: That is spiritual. [break] …Gosvāmī’s śloka. Kṛṣṇabhaktirasabhāvitāmatiḥkrīyatāṁyadi kuto ‘pi labhyate: “The anxiety for Kṛṣṇaif it can be purchased, immediately purchase it.” Rūpa Gosvāmī said. Kṛṣṇabhaktirasabhāvitāmatiḥkrīyatām: “Just purchase Kṛṣṇaanxiety if it is available somewhere.” So the next question will be that “What is the price?” Tatralaulyamapimūlyamekalam: “That anxiety can be purchased by anxiety.” “So I’ll do it.” No.Janmakoṭi-sukṛtair nalabhyate: “That anxiety is not available even by millions of births’ pious activities.” So this anxiety is not so easy.
Devotee (1): So if we’re performing the Deity worship and we get in anxiety, how to make it nice…
Prabhupāda: Yes, that is Kṛṣṇaanxiety. That is KṛṣṇaanxietyIf you become anxious how to worship Deity, how to dress Kṛṣṇa nicely, how to do, if you remain, that will develop your anxiety for Kṛṣṇa. Therefore Deity worship essential. Exactly in time to get up, to offer maṅgalaārati, to dress, this anxiety is the beginning of Kṛṣṇaanxiety. Then, when you become perfect, you’ll always be anxious for Kṛṣṇa. And that is perfectional stage. Therefore, by the injunction of the śāstra, regulative, it is a way of creating that anxietySo we must follow. Then we’ll come to the real anxiety.
Gurukṛpā: Not artificially.
Devotee (1): So therefore it is good that we have so much Deity worship to do that we’re very, very busy and we do not have any time?
Prabhupāda: Eh?
Devotee (1): We practically do not have enough time, but that is very good?
Prabhupāda: Enough time?
Devotee (1): To worship the Deity. We have so much to do.
Prabhupāda: So what enough time you want? To go to the cinema? (laughter) Then? Your time has to be occupied by Kṛṣṇaanxiety. That’s all. And as soon as you go to other anxiety, then it is māyā.
Gurukṛpā: If we have four hours to dress the Deity, we can use the whole four hours. But sometimes we only have an hour and a half, so we have to rush. So that is anxiety.
Prabhupāda: No, that anxiety does not mean this laziness, that “I am anxiety for four hours. Deity cannot be opened now. I am in anxiety.” That is negligence. That is negligence. That is not anxiety.
Devotee (2): When we are distributing books, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and we are not doing so good and we are in anxiety, that is also spiritual?
Prabhupāda: That is…. For selling books anxiety is KṛṣṇaanxietyIf you become very anxious how to sell more books, that is Kṛṣṇaanxiety. That is not trade anxiety; that is Kṛṣṇaanxiety.
Gurukṛpā: So some people say that “When I go on saṅkīrtana to sell books I become in too much anxiety if I’m not doing well, so I’d rather not do it.”
Prabhupāda: No, that is Kṛṣṇaanxiety. He does not know. Let him know that that is KṛṣṇaanxietyYaśodā, mother Yaśodā, became mother of Kṛṣṇaso that she would always remain in anxiety for Kṛṣṇa, whether Kṛṣṇa is safe. That is mother’s anxiety. Therefore she became mother. How to become in Kṛṣṇaanxiety? This philosophy nobody knows. Everyone takes Kṛṣṇa as the father. Father means I’m anxiety-less: “Father, you supply my wants.” And to become father of Kṛṣṇa means to purchase anxiety for Kṛṣṇa. This philosophy they do not know.
Devotee (2): They say, that man the other night, he said…
Prabhupāda: To accept Kṛṣṇa as father means “My father is there. I have no anxiety.” And if you accept Kṛṣṇa as your son, then you are full of Kṛṣṇaanxiety. This is the philosophy. And these Māyāvādīs, they cannot understand. They think that Kṛṣṇa is born of this father and mother, how He is God? But they do not know the philosophy.
PuṣṭaKṛṣṇa: They talk of śānti.
Prabhupāda: Mother Yaśodā is always anxious. “Kṛṣṇa is crawling. Whether He is falling down in some water or some monkey has come, hurting Him, or…?” Always. Or “He is touching some fire.” Always anxiety. And besides that, the demons are coming. So this is perfection. Always remain in anxiety for Kṛṣṇa……